Working Class Hero
by Tayna-chan
Summary: A song fic about Shinji, it's R cause of some bad themes and unmentionable words ^.^;; If you read be sure to review! I see that some of you don't.... well cut the bad habit!


Okay! This is my first song fic, and maybe my only. Depends on what you guys think! It's narrated by Shinji, and the song is "Working Class Hero" by the great John Lennon.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, nor do I own "Working Class Hero" It's copyrighted by Lenono Music and John Lennon is a trademark of Yoko Ono Lennon. But any text outside all the ~*~s is mine! No stealing please! ^.^  
  
  
  
Working Class Hero  
  
  
~*~  
As soon as your born they make you feel small  
by giving you no time instead of it all  
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all  
~*~  
  
"Shinji! What did I tell you about disobeying orders in battle!"  
  
It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. I had done something else wrong, and it seemed my apology wasn't worth anything anymore. I gave a little bow of apology, I hadn't bowed to anyone in years, I thought this might make up for it.  
  
"God Shinji! You're always doing things wrong! How much more training time can we give you if you're just going to mess up when it counts?"  
  
There was nothing I could say to this that would make Misato happy, I kept my mouth shut, and hoped I'd do things right the next time.  
  
~*~  
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
A Working Class Hero is something to be  
~*~   
  
I plodded home as the others got a bit of extra training. It wasn't openly said, but I knew I wasn't welcome there. I was just glad to get home and sleep, not having to worry about my actions.  
  
~*~  
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school  
They hate you if you're clever and despise a fool  
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow the rules  
~*~  
  
The morning was just as bad as the previous afternoon, namely because of a certain red headed girl.   
  
"Shinji," she said, "You're late, I really hope you're prepared to explain to the teachers just why we weren't at school on time. And what's with you missing training last night? I hope you'll be more considerate of other peoples feelings next time, I waited for you afterwards and you weren't there!"  
  
I trudged to school a little late, not enough for that bitch to make any comments about it. I wish she'd just shove it, I'm tired of her treating me like crap. Getting to school wasn't much better, I was teased about liking Rei. Touji tried to make me admit it, I had so much pent up anger, I couldn't help but release it.   
  
The principal told me I was suspended. The words he spoke had no meaning to me, a rage was forming, and his 'suspension' couldn't stop it.  
  
~*~  
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
A Working Class Hero is something to be  
~*~  
  
I didn't go home that morning, I just walked. I wasn't aware of it, but I had walked so far to reach a small cliff overlooking a sea below. At first I noticed the irony of the beauty I was looking at. How can something so beautiful as the waves crashing be so deadly? I entertained the thought of joining the waves, but the feeling passed. I wasn't at that extreme.  
  
~*~  
When they've tortured and scared you for 20 odd years   
Then they expect you to pick a career   
When you can't really function you're so full of fear  
~*~  
  
I reported to HQ that night, much to the chagrin of Asuka, I was still alive. I seemed more desperate and depressed the ever. Training went well. Misato congratulated me. It seemed to me I should just come to work in a depressed stupor everyday. That way I might be a successful eva pilot. Despite the fact that I didn't really do anything different that night then any other night I trained.  
  
~*~  
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
~*~  
  
Later that night the alarm sounded. An angel. I would have given anything in the world not to go, but it had to be done. I got to HQ and dressed. Alone.  
  
~*~  
Keep you doped with religion, sex and T.V.  
You think you're so clever and classless and free  
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see  
~*~  
  
Out of every angel we'd fought against, I guess this one must have been particularly strong, or this was Misato's twisted way of berating me. Because the second I got into battle, Asuka and Rei were told to make sure I was doing things right, and if I didn't they'd have clearance to, as she put it 'correct his mistakes'. She plainly assumed I would bungle this mission up. I'd show her. This was my time to shine. I'd show them all what a good strategist I was. By the end of the fight, 01 was destroyed, and I was in that familiar hall, my captain standing over me, giving me a detailed report on everything I had done wrong.  
  
~*~  
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
~*~  
  
I wanted to tell her exactly why I had done it. Why I followed my heart and mind instead of her commands. But I had a feeling that's not what she wanted to hear then. She told me the only way to make up for my mistakes was to tell Asuka she had been taken off point guard for the next battle. You may not think of this as much, but Asuka would probably kill anyone who took that privilege from her. Including me.  
  
~*~  
There's room at the top they are telling you still  
But first you must learn how to smile when you kill  
If you want to be like the folks on the hill  
~*~  
  
She slapped me. I told her and she slapped me. I told Misato what Asuka had done and she asked, 'did you really expect to be treated any other way? Listen Shinji, you're not going to make point guard while crying every time someone hurts you. Consider it a victory, that you didn't sink as low and hit her back. You'll be a star in no time, if you keep following my orders.' I lost a lot of respect for her then, telling me I'd do well if I did her dirty work. Point Guard was a very coveted position. As high as an eva pilot could get. But to get that, I didn't want to have to hurt peoples.  
  
~*~  
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
A Working Class Hero is something to be   
~*~  
  
I took another walk that night, it was late, I knew that. But I wanted to walk. Like a magnet I was drawn to those cliffs again. The temptation of the waves proved greater this time. A temptation I could ignore no longer. My last thoughts were of the other pilots and crew at Nerv, and how I hated them. As ironic as the beauty of the waves, it was they who let me be free by pushing me to my last extent. Now as I join the waves, I can't help but watch as those who drove me crazy come to pay homage to my memory. Hearing them say things like 'he was such a good pilot, and one hell of a kid', and 'a hero on the battlefield, with skills rivaled by no one', make me laugh. Maybe if they had told me those things yesterday, the path I chose would have been left untouched.  
  
~*~  
If you want to be a hero well just follow me  
If you want to be a hero well just follow me  
~*~  
  



End file.
